Here it is:

1. Go traveling
2. Buy another house
3. Get a tattoo
4. Change my job
5. Be debt free (excluding mortgages)
6. Launch my online business
7. Finally reach my goal weight!!!
8. Pass my exam (next week)
9. Take each day as it comes
10.Love every second of it and have fun!!!

ok ok, number 9 & 10 were just to round it up to 10 things but looking back im actually quite impressed with how much I achieved. I didnt quite get it all done in 2009 but I got there in the end. We went travelling (1) Bought another house (2) change my job to a housewife/stay at home mum (4) managed to become debt free for a little while but after buying our second house the overdraft has a bit of a dent in it again now (5) and I past me exam (8) and i can honestly say that I have done number 9 & 10 as well. So all that is left is number 3 which is to get a tattoo which I couldn’t do due to being pregnant and breastfeeding but I now know what I want and number 6 was to launch my online store which is something im sure i will get around to one day when i have more time and number 7 which is to reach my goal weight which to be honest is probably never going to happen

Ive been diagnosed with autoimune hypothyroidism and my latest results came back as showing that I had a very high amount of antibodies and that I was low on nutrients and also anemic. The doctor has put me on some new medication to take along side my thyroid medication and said they would retest in 6 weeks time to see how I am as all my symptoms are classic symptoms of celiac disease which is an autoimune disease and is very common in people with hypothyroidism! Well… According to my family it’s all a load of rubbish and if I just ate more green vegetables and exercised more then I would be fine!! So basically the doctors know nothing and my mum & sisters have suddenly become experts in medicine!!

Oh and also I’m becoming a hermit because I’ve decided to stay at home two days running! I was out every single day last week and to be honest if I hadn’t been running around and looking after there children and doing stuff for them all the bloody time then maybe I wouldn’t have felt so exhausted and gone out today!! Although I think it’s quite nice for my son to be able to have a day or two at home being able to play without being disturbed while I catch up on the housework!! Why do I have to go out everyday?? Why do I even have to answer that question? It’s my life and I will do what I want and I won’t be made to feel bad about it!!

Arrrgggggg!!!!! I get so frustrated with people sometimes!! I think this I why I would like to move away.

Im so fed up with always being the one who helps out other people when it would be nice to actually get some help myself! Apparently because my sister is a single mum my mum thinks she is the one who needs the most help and we should all drop everything to help her which I don’t mind and I do constantly help out with school runs and baby-sitting all the time when im needed, i try my best to never say no but as soon as I need a bit of help and ask her for it I basically get told to pull my self together and that I’m fine!! I mean how the hell does my mum know if I’m fine?? I asked 3 times the other week for help as I was feeling really ill with my thyroid problems and she basically just ignored me!! im just not going to bother asking in future.

Why is it that after years of not smoking I still crave them!! The past few days all I’ve wanted is a fag! I think it’s the nice sunny weather, for some reason it makes me love the smell of smoke. I hate the smell of fags on people but I love the smell of the smoke in the air on a nice hot day!! I guess it just reminds me of the good old days when I had very few responsibilities and would spend the summer chilling out with Andy in the garden at his mum & dads.

Are we honestly on this earth just to work, eat, sleep and reproduce?? Maybe we should just ditch all the civilised c**p and go back to basics. I hate being told what I can and can’t do all the time.

Hmmm, got side tracked a bit there…

Anyway, basically what I’m trying to say is why do I always want more?? I have everything and more than a lot of people could ever dream of but I just don’t feel complete yet. I’m not sure what it is but i know there is something I should be doing and im not if that makes sence? I keep thinking i need to go travelling again, it annoys me that we all live our lives in such a confined way, I mean I love the town where I live but it tiny and insignificant compared to the rest of the world and I think I would go insane if I spent the rest of my life here. I don’t want to lead a life of confinement, I want to experience what the world has to offer but you can’t do that without money and we can’t just sell up and go (however much I want to) because at some point the money will run out and we will have to come back and jack needs to have a home to grow up in.

I do also think that maybe it’s my career that I need to look at. My older sisters managed to do want they wanted when they left school but I was manipulated into working for the family business which I hated from day 1 and I spent 10 years feeling suffocated by my family. I tried a few times to leave but I was always made to feel really bad about it and was excluded from the family. When I went travelling I was determined that it was going to be an end to it all but as soon as I got back I was once again back working for the family. Even after I had jack I was back working 1 day a week from when he was just 6 weeks old. I would have loved to of been a midwife and I’ve got all my qualifications to get me into uni but I don’t think I can fit it in now, by the time I qualify I would be 30!! Hmmm, I really don’t know what I want to do anymore.

Right then it’s gone midnight and my 2 boys are fast asleep so I guess I better lock up and go to bed myself. Night night xxx

I stopped writing on my blog during my travels last year as I found out I was pregnant! I had an awful time being pregnant and by the time we reached Australia on our travels I was taken into hospital suffering with hyperemesis (horrendous sickness) i spent 7 weeks in hospital in Australia before being signed off as “fit to fly” and we arrived home on Christmas eve.

I spent the rest of my pregnancy fairly ill with the hyperemesis, spd and pre-eclampsia  until my beautiful baby boy was born after 67 hours in labour on the 2nd of July 2010.

I will try and keep my blog updated from now on xxx

Is it too much to ask???? I want a cup of tea without powdered milk, I want a piece of toast that is actually toasted and is not sweet!!! I want a cheese sandwich that has not been melted first!!! I want a jp with butter and cheese but the don’t exist over here! I want something yummy to eat and I want to be able to eat it with out a million and one flies trying to eat it for me!!!!

I want a nice home cooked Sunday roast dinner!!!!!

I never thought I would say this but after 4 weeks of eating out for every meal I just really want some nice home cooked food!!!

Im having a bit of a random day today, im fed up of mosquito’s biting me, its really really hot today and I hate being really hot!!! I really fancy a nice roast dinner or a jp with cheese but its not going to happen! Im fed up of eating out every meal for the past 4 weeks and I want my own bed!!!!!!!!! Phuket is also really dirty and smells and has stray dogs everywhere which keep following me!!!

Roll on Oz, just over a week to go!!