Not everything in this magical world is what it seams September 16th, 2009
Just recently I’ve had a few people say to me that I’m the most difficult person to understand that they have ever met. I’m not sure if that is good or bad! I guess Ive had loads of practice of putting up a defence and I’m constantly wearing a “mask” to stop people from reading me! I’m not sure why I do it, I guess I’m just a very private person! I tend to be what people want me to be just to please them and in turn I end up not being true to myself.
I have started to write a book today! It’s something that I have wanted to do for ages but I’ve never made the time to start it. I’ve only written the first page so far but I’m really excited about it and it actually reads fairly well. It’s odd though because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do but if you ask anybody that “knows” me if I have ever wanted to write a book they would proberly laugh and reply with something along the lines of “steph!! Write a book? Yeah right!! She’s not like that”
I need to start being true to myself, I’m unhappy for a reason and I need to stop blaming everyone else for me being unhappy! It’s my life and if I’m not happy I need to do something to change it until I am happy. I’m constantly putting my life on hold while I wait for the next big thing to happen! I’m always looking forward to the future and not actually living in the here and now!
Timmargh September 19th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Good for you.
I can really relate to the “needing to be true to yourself” thing as that’s what I’ve been trying to do for the last six months or so and, I’m happy to say, it’s working out pretty well. I’ve been taking opportunities when they arise rather than worrying what other people will think, and making sure that those people in my life who are usually negative towards me don’t get the chance to be so.
The woman I share a house with, who is the main source of the negativity in my life, is moving out in about six weeks, so I am *really* looking forward to a big increase in happiness! I have to say that she has helped me a lot with various aspects of my life, but the bad far exceeds the good so a change is long overdue.
Good luck with the new you