Well its official… We have made it to our 2nd anniversary!! god only knows how. Someone said today that we have made it look very easy. I guess we do but it has defiantly not been the easiest of 2 years. Still if we can get through the past 2 years the next one will be a breeze. Love you lots andy x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Well that’s another day nearly over and it means that I’m one day closer to my trip of a lifetime! It’s odd though because the closer I get to it the more I just want it to be over and done with so that I can come back and start living! I know that sounds odd and I’m really not wishing my life away honestly but things have been really unsettled lately and after 2 years living at my parents house and living for the future I can’t wait to just finish this chapter in my life and get home from traveling, buy a house and just live the simple life for a while one day at a time and enjoying it!
I think I’m actually looking forward more to coming home from my trip and starting a new life for myself, new home, new job, hopefully a new outlook on life and I’m hoping that at some point during this trip that I will find myself and work out what my role on this earth actually is! So far in my life I’ve pretty much been told what to do, how to feel etc and I have just about had enough of it! I can’t believe I’m having to go to the other side of the world just so that I can get away from everything in order to find myself! Most people go traveling to see the world and end up “finding” themselves while they are there! For me I think it’s more that I need the time and space away from all the influences in my life right now so that I can “find myself” and if I happen to see some of the world at the same time then it’s a bonus!! I said to my hubby the other day when he was talking about all the places that we were going to that I don’t actually care where we go! All I want right now is to just disappear for a few weeks to a desert island all by myself and just take a deep breath and relax!!
Why does life have to be so complicated? Why is it that everything I try to do turns out to be so difficult? Life has a funny way of helping you out sometimes! I know I don’t really have that much cause to complain! If you look at the bigger picture my life compared to some is very very good! My god there are people on this earth that are really suffering and I do understand that and I am very thankful for everything that I have but I seam to have this constant battle with life at the moment!! What have I done that is so bad to constantly be punished!! Honestly everything I do just lately I seam to get knocked back by a ton of bricks five times over until I finally manage to break through it and come out the other side just to come up against a brick wall with something else!
On another note it’s my 2nd anniversary tomorrow! I can’t believe it’s been 2 whole years! The sad thing is though that apart from the odd holiday hubby and I have been on together I can’t actually remember the past 2 years all that well. It seams like it’s just past me by. I think I’ve spent so much of it dreaming of the future that I just switched off to my life and have just got through it the best that I could. This next year though is going to be amazing!!!! I’m not going to miss a minute of it!!!
Well maybe not orange but it’s definatly bright!! 5 weeks today and I will be on a plane on my way to china! Woooohoooo it’s nearly here!!!!! Im soooo excited!!! Just really need the break now.
Well things are looking up all round, After seeing the consultant the other day at the private hospital and being told that everything is ok Im starting to feel a bit less stressed out and Im looking forward to traveling now. The doc has given me 3 lots of medication to take but its worth it, Im just glad its nothing life threatening.
Its now 5 weeks till we leave and we are starting to finally get things sorted out. Most of our stuff is in storage which is the biggest thing we needed to sort out, Now its just things like getting my accounts done, sorting the tenants out, booking accommodation for first few night in china and getting our Chinese visas. We have loads of small things as well like sorting out phone contracts, car & flat insurance and the annual gas check for the rental property but were getting there slowly.
Im really excited to start moving my life on, its been 2 years of standing still and now I can finally break free.
Its like I have spent the past 2 years drowning and trying to swim to the surface. I could see the sun shining through the water and guiding me up to my freedom but something has pulled me back every time I get a little bit closer. Now Im still not at the top but I don’t feel like Im drowning anymore either. Im slowly being pulled up instead 
Why is it all so shit?? I’m trying to be positive and happy and I’m really excited about my traveling but things keep knocking me back constantly!!!!
Today started at 7am with me breaking a glass followed by a doctors appointment that went very badly and I was referred to a consultant at the private hospital followed by my tenants calling me to say they have a gas leak at the flat followed by a very slow and boring day at work where everyone decided to come in at the last minute and made me an hour late closing up and then I had a long and tiring walk home just so that I could cook tea and burn my hand!! Now hubby has just spilt his drink!! And to top it off I’ve had one hell of a headache all day long!! 
is it bed time now?? I’ve had enough today!!
If there is anyone out there in this universe please please please make tomorrow a better day!!!
6 weeks and 3 days left till traveling! Lets just hope I’m well enough now
Everybody’s comin’ to get me
Just say you never met me
I’m runnin’ underground with the moles
Diggin’ holes
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring
But if you’re bored then you’re boring
The agony and the irony, they’re killing me, whoa!
I’m not sick, but I’m not well
And I’m so hot cause I’m in hell
I’m not sick, but I’m not well
And it’s a sin to live this well
Umm, I think I’m slowly going insane!! I did pre-warn everyone a while back that I’m not sure I will make it till October to go traveling! Give it a few more weeks and I will be in hospital rocking backwards and forwards on my rocking chair high on happy pills lol.
If your easily offended, please skip this post!!!!
I am sooo F**king pissed off right now!! I had a really shit day and I’m fed up of dealing with stupid F**king idiots!!!!! I swear every single stupid, arrogant, useless waste of space has been into the cafe today!! For the love of god give me a break and either F**k off somewhere else or stay at home in your padded cell. I swear I’m going to scream at the next random person who annoys me today!!
And it just gets F**king worse!!!! How am I meant to react to questions like do you sell tea?? I would love to reply to them by saying no sorry we don’t sell tea in this cafe! What the fuck do people think a cafe sells??
Iv heard it all today! Do you have any cold drinks? Yes sir we do! Your standing next to an 8ft f**king high chiller full of them!!!!
Can I eat outside or has the government put a ban on that as well? What the fuck? Was that ment to be a joke? My response… I smiled, laughed a little and then said no it’s fine to eat outside, I will bring it all over to you when it’s ready!! The response I wanted to give… I would rather you did f**king sit outside to eat because you f**king smell like shit!! Make sure you close the door behind you and put a health warning sign up to pre-warn everyone not to get to close because your a f**king freak!!!!!!
Every single day I get the customers who think they are being funny by saying something un original like no sugar for me please I’m sweet enough already!! I must hear that 20 times a day and each time I have to pretend like it’s the first F**king time iv heard it!
Then I get the customers who you just know go around every cafe in town eating themselves stupid everyday! They are the size of a house and stand looking at the cakes saying iv been really good the past few days I think I will treat myself and have a cake! Who are you kidding for F**k sake!! Just say I’m a big fat greedy cow and so I’m going to eat myself stupid on cakes!!!!
Ahh then you get the good old regulars! The ones who have been coming in for years, you know by name and you know what their order is! They think they know me but they only really know the work me and the first question they always ask is it’s not long now till your off travelling is it? My reply… No it’s not long now, only 7 and a half weeks to go! The reply I want to say… It’s still F**king 7 and a half weeks away!! One day less then when you asked me yesterday and it couldn’t come F**king quick enough because I’m fed up of being reminded 100 times every F**king day that it’s still 7 and a half weeks away!!!!!
Aghhhhhhhhhhh
Rant over!!!!
Sorry 